Dear Mr Branson,

I paid £240 for a round trip from London to Birmingham today. This morning’s journey wasn’t too bad, apart from the fact that your carriages are getting a bit tired and the seats are fairly manky and need a good clean, but the crew are nice. This evening’s service in contrast was off-hand and lacklustre. I think you must be working the crew too hard. But the food was absolutely horrible. Now I know things are pretty bad in Ireland these days, but that ‘Irish’ stew wouldn’t have been touched by my cats. A poor cow coughed up it’s life to produce that. Why do it?

You need to start traveling on your trains again. Or send out the mystery shoppers.

Yours sincerely,

Old Tortoise.